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Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Chinese Market Awash in Fake Potter Books - New York Times

I freaking love this- fake Harry Potter books are for sale in China! I am reading The Last Harry Potter as we speak (no spoilers please!), but I really want to read some of these:

Chinese Market Awash in Fake Potter Books - New York Times:
"These include "Harry Potter and the Half-Blooded Relative Prince," a creation whose name in Chinese closely resembles the title of the genuine sixth book by Ms. Rowling, as well as pure inventions that include "Harry Potter and the Hiking Dragon", "Harry Potter and the Chinese Empire," "Harry Potter and the Young Heroes", "Harry Potter and Leopard-Walk-Up-to-Dragon", and "Harry Potter and the Big Funnel"."


My guesses on the plot for these:
"Harry Potter and the Hiking Dragon". The Dragon comes out of hiding with the crouching tiger and he's ready for some campfire side fun. Kum bah yah and bring your own marshmallows to this rollicking tale!
"Harry Potter and the Chinese Empire," A truly splendiforous tale about Harry's life after graduating from the First Hogwarts Normal School of Hunan, when he travels with Professor Yang Changji, his high school teacher and future father-in-law, to Beijing during the May Fourth Movement in 1919. Turns out that Professor Yang holds a faculty position at Peking University. Thanks to Yang's recommendation, Harry works as an assistant librarian at the University with Li Dazhao as curator. Harry registers as a part-time student at Beijing Wizards University and audits many lectures and seminars by famous wizards such as Chen Duxiu, Hu Shi, Qian Xuantong, etc. During his stay in Beijing, he read as much as possible, and through his readings, he is introduced to Communist theories. Read More
"Harry Potter and the Young Heroes" It's Harry Potter, only with Young Heroes instead of those losers Hermione, Ron et al. About time eh?!
"Harry Potter and Leopard-Walk-Up-to-Dragon" Harry is very bored and sleepy while sitting with his older half-sister outside, until he sees a White Rabbit looking at his watch and talking to himself. He follows the Rabbit down a very deep rabbit hole and ends up far beneath the ground in a hall with a tiny locked door that leads to a beautiful garden. He eats and drinks things that make him change in size, but he is still unable to get through the door into the garden.

When he becomes huge, he cries in frustration and when he shrinks, he is small enough to swim around in a pool made of her own tears. In the pool, he encounters many creatures, including a Mouse. The creatures and Harry manage to get out of the pool and dry off, but Harry is soon left alone...
"Harry Potter and the Big Funnel" Simply put, this is the greatest Harry Potter tale of all. Let me set the scene..

Take one Harry Potter and add a fuck-off BIG FUNNEL and that's about the sum of it. Harry Potter, BIG FUNNEL...!

*Details!!* I hear you cry?!?


Ok.



Harry P...& a Big Fuck Off Funnel.


The end.

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posted by thr at 4:58 pm

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