Sunday, October 08, 2006

Scoble's Laws of Blogging 10-20

I'm working from home this week, so I thought' I'd complete my task. In terms of task orientation, I'm the goddamn Tominator of tasks:
Listen. And understand. That terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

Stranglely menacing quotes aside. Let's HIT IT!!

11) Know the information gatekeepers.

Hmmm. I'm going to mod that Mr Scoble. "Know where the real power lies" No use sucking up to people who don't count. If someone is on the nose, no point in putting your nose near them.

If there's assmosis to be done, aim high (or low as it were) and stick to your task. The only reason to suck up to someone low is so they can introduce you to someone higher. Then ditch them like a dirty ashtray. Your colleagues won't respect you, but what's respect anyway?

12) Never change the URL of your weblog. I've done it once and I lost much of my readership and it took several months to build up the same reader patterns and trust.
I just broke that. I was here, and now I'm here. I'm still the same person. I must say though, this site's back end works real gud. Y'see when I'm done typing on the keyboardy whatnot, I hit this little ol' "publish" button- and what do you know? The post goes live. Fantastic stuff!

13) If your life is in turmoil and/or you're unhappy, don't write. When I was going through my divorce, it affected my writing in subtle ways. Lately I've been feeling a lot better, and I notice my writing and readership quality has been going up too.
Turmoil? Yes. Unhappy? Hell no!
In fact I feel like ...erm, BOTH of the sons in Luke 15;11-32:
"Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!" "My son," the father said, "you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found."

14) If you don't have the answers, say so. Not having the answers is human. But, get them and exceed expectations. If you say you'll know by tomorrow afternoon, make sure you know in the morning.

I'd like some answers. Sometimes the mysteries of the universe aren't revealed between company announcements. I want some answers- by tomorrow!!

15) Never lie. You'll get caught and you'll lose credibility that you'll never get back.

Unless you are dealing with the media. Then lie til it freakin hurts! Say random one word things to media enquiries and run while they ponder. "Mongoose!!" sprints

16) Never hide information. Just like the space shuttle engineers, your information will get out and then you'll lose credibility.
If only it were true Mr S. if only...

17) If you have information that might get you in a lawsuit, see a lawyer before posting, but do it fast. Speed is key here. If it takes you two weeks to answer what's going on in the marketplace because you're scared of what your legal hit will be, then you're screwed anyway. Your competitors will figure it out and outmaneuver you.

Oh snap! If you have information, try to forget it.

18) Link to your competitors and say nice things about them.
I did do that. It didn't work out too well..

19) BOGU. This means "Bend Over and Grease Up."

Oh, I'm an expert on this... NOW. I wasn't until... oh say 8.30 am last Friday.

20) Be the authority on your product/company.

I was and am. And now I'm spending wasy too much time here.

So, in summary. IGNORE THAT SCOBLE IDIOT! Listening to him might do your company some good, but won't necessarily keep you employed.

But you will be able to look God/Yahweh/Allah in the eye when the time comes.



posted by thr at 10:45 pm


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Righteous! - Mike (forgot my blog password...)

10/09/2006 8:03 am  

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