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Monday, October 04, 2004

I'm sure there's a logical explanation. I just don't have it..

AN adult sex toy shut down a key regional airport for almost an hour today when it was mistaken for a bomb, Queensland police said.

The vibrating object was discovered at Mackay Airport by a security officer who noticed the suspicious package inside a rubbish bin at the terminal cafeteria at 9.15am (AEST), a police spokeswoman said.

Cafeteria manager Lynne Bryant said her staff had been cleaning tables when they noticed a strange humming noise coming from the rubbish bin.

"It was rather disconcerting when the rubbish bin started humming furiously," she said.

"We called security and next minute everybody was being evacuated while they checked it out."


...she said in retrospect the humming sounded exactly like a vibrator – but it was better to be safe then sorry.

"You can't afford to take chances," Ms Bryant said.


Pardon me? in retrospect the humming sounded exactly like a vibrator I'm sorry, but just how does a vibrator sound in a bin? Like a frog in a sock? Like a duck farting in long grass? huh?

Of course, well all know from Fight Club that vibrating luggage is a no no:

JACK (V.O.) How I came to live with Tyler is: airlines have this policy about vibrating luggage.

INT. BAGGAGE CLAIM AREA - NIGHT

Utterly empty of baggage. No people except for Jack and a SECURITY TASK FORCE MAN. The Security TFM, smirking, holds a receiver to his ear from an official phone on the wall.

SECURITY TFM (to Jack)
Throwers don't worry about ticking. Modern bombs don't tick.

JACK
Excuse me? "Throwers?"

SECURITY TFM
Baggage handlers. But when a suitcase vibrates, the throwers have to call the police.

JACK
My suitcase was vibrating?

SECURITY TFM
Nine time out of ten, it's an electric razor. But, every once in a while ...
(whispers) ...it's a dildo. It's airline policy not to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We use the indefinite article: "A dildo." Never "Your dildo."

Herald Sun- But it's not my bag baby!!
posted by thr at 4:08 pm

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