Friday, November 05, 2004

To My Dear Car Driving Brethren,

To My Dear Car Driving Brethren,
Seven years ago I ridded myself of the tin top and became a motorcyclist. On occasions when Her Kia-Rio-ness allows me to drive Her Precious, I am struck by what a disconnected environment a car really is: air con, radio, mobile phone et al. to fiddle with or cause distraction.
I'm not without sympathy for you when you aren't at your absolute best on the road because I know you are not setting out to kill me, but folks—it sure can look that way.
Rather than road rage you, kick your doors or frighten you as some of my leather-clad brothers and sisters are wont to do, I will instead take this special time to offer you some handy DIY hints:
Don't creep.
When you are turning out of a side street, whether left or right, don't creep out as I ride towards you. It makes me sweat blood. Blood I'll need if you do pull out. You might have seen me, but creeping sure makes it look like you haven't.
Use your indicators.
My late father was guilty of selective indicator use. It was a value judgement he made. If he thought no one was around he'd "do a drift". He's not here for me to yell at, so you, gentle reader, must cop this: I AM AROUND, AND LANE DRIFTS ARE SCARY AND DANGEROUS! In return, I will position myself in your mirrors as best I can. I know we motorcyclists have a knack for getting in your blind spot. Sorry 'bout that.
I need my own lane.
I'm a caring, sharing kinda guy, but when it comes to my lane, I demand all of it. I need to move left and right to get in other drivers' mirrors, avoid cavernous potholes, oil and gravel etc., so I don't appreciate it when you pop two wheels (or more) into my lane. And that also applies when you want to go around a parked car. You can't just indicate and pull into my lane. It upsets and saddens me. A lot.
Don't turn in front of me.
One problem too many people have (and pedestrians—I am including you in this) is judging the distance and speed of an oncoming motorbike. This is a daily source of worry for motorcyclists and represents a high proportion of overall motorcycle/car "get togethers". I hate approaching an intersection when I am on my own and cars are looking to turn right in front of me. Once again—no creeping as I approach. Give me eye contact, as I need to stare into your soul to see if you are all set to launch me over your bonnet. DON'T stare at my headlight to help you judge my speed. It's an established fact that it can hypnotize you into thinking you can make it when you can't. And when the lights go red and you are back in the queue, don't try to sneak through on the red. In my experience, you are too focused on "going the sneak", and as a result you might find me face first through your windscreen, where I'll make an appalling mess of your upholstery.
Let me split at the lights.
Yes, I know it is annoying when I sneak through the gap between cars at red lights and then go all the way to pole position. As I risk my life with every journey, the least you can do is make room for me to get to the front at the lights. I need to get away first. It's important. In return, I won't lane split once we are in motion, won't take off your mirrors, and I certainly won't split at 150km/h on the freeway just to freak you out.
Never, ever talk on your mobile.
This is the only time you will boil my blood. When I am doing my daily commute, the person driving for 5 kms with a flashing indicator, lane drifting, and generally making a nuisance of themselves is all too often on their mobile phone. If I catch up to you when you do this, words will be exchanged. Harsh words. Perhaps the odd expletive. You will not have an excuse. And no, the hands-free unit just makes it look like you are not on the phone, but your mind is NOT on the job. Pull over and talk to your caller and you won't have to talk to me.
Don't drive a four-wheel drive.
Nothing to add there. Just don't. Ever.
Get a bike yourself.
If you really want to improve your driving, ride a bike of any description. It will do you good to Get The Fear. Might stop you inadvertently dishing it out. As an added bonus, you will join a world where rising fuel prices are no big deal and tolls are a bother that other people pay on your behalf.
Til next we meet on them there roads, take care.
It's rather important to me.
Tom Reynolds

Labels: ,

posted by thr at 6:00 pm 0 comments links to this post

Monday, November 01, 2004

MotoGp wraps up for 2004

Last nights race was great- but not for the reasons you'd think. My highlight? The grace, dignity and downright style of a Mr Troy Bayliss. I was all set to hear him give Ducati a blast and he chose the more damaging, cooler opposite path.

Troy Bayliss- stylish exit from Ducati- the FUCKERS!Other highlight - Darryl Beattie's call when the camera showed Checa dusting himself off after yet another off: "DUCATI!!... GET USED TO IT!" classic! This followed Billy Woods' call on RPM that he was, frankly, actually BUGGERED if her knew what Ducati was thinking. I wonder what Bazza would say? Probally a lot of blue work!

The season is over, and having seen Bayliss so gallent at his press conference I had a think about what the riders might say if they were brutally honest about themselves and their performances:

Biaggi: y'know you might be right, I might be the biggest whiner and choker ever... and thats a record that no one can take. yeah I had the bike, tyres, team and the timing could not have been better, but I guess I'm not good enough. Shit happens

Edwards: Look, I guess I as trying to be funny when I suggested we take forks off a 2000 model superbike and put them on a 2004 RCV. It chattered so much I lost two teeth. I knew they'd taken it too far when i suggested we try the rear shock out of a CX500 and the handlebars from an XR80- and there they were, ready to go on. On the plus side no one blew me up this year.

Checa: I regard MotoGP as a show, and part of that show is crashing as often as possible..
Melandri: Same goes for me.
Xaus: Me too!

Barros: ...and for my next trick I will get an F1 drive with no track record, no prospects and no hope!!

Kenny Roberts: I'm actually quite in to MotoGP- from a spectating perspective.

Kurtis Roberts: No, fair enough to say that, this has been the worst year of my life and yes, it's mostly my dad's fault.

Hoffman: I can only put Nakano's success down to the fact he is much better than me and I am way out of my depth.

Ellison/Ui/Fabrizio et al: We've had a great year in World Superbikes... err whats that you say?

Nakano: It's been an interesting year, if you rate a tyre delamination at 200 miles an hour down the main straight as interesting.

Hayden: Some folks mighta said it was foolish to fall offa that there Supermoto bike. But I say it was damn foolish.

Gibernau: Just when you thought I was going ok, I show you the Gibernau of old! Thank you all! please try the fish and tip your waiteresses....

Hopkins: Yes, I'm well pleased to have signed with Suzuki for the next 100 years. A lot of people say "when you're on a good thing, stick to it". But I'm not a lot of people...

McWilliams: [no one can compete with what Jezza actually does say]

Rossi: This year has been really tough. Hardest, most difficult year of my life. It's been quite unbelievable- the pressure, the expectation, the bike, the racing, the competitors.
Actually, just kidding. It was a piece of piss. As always..

Roll on 2005~!

MotoGP official site
Troy Bayliss- official site
MC News Australia
posted by thr at 4:34 pm 0 comments links to this post

Some appreciate my work...

Bikepoint article
posted by thr at 11:53 am 0 comments links to this post